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ARE YOU A VICTIM?

November 24, 2009

A DAY IN THE LIFE   24 November 2009

Everyday I choose to look at some aspect of myself that seems somewhat incompetent. Well, now that I have already judged myself let me rephrase. Haven’t we all done something that has caused someone pain or discomfort?� How about those times when we find out later, and I mean much later, that we caused them pain through some sort of misunderstood communication? When they finally bring it to our attention, through themselves, or someone lets us know about it, we feel bad. We may believe that now we are ever in their indebtedness. We may feel we have added to their sad state, whatever that state may be. We may chastise ourselves each day, and in the case of healers, even feel we must pay point for point to experience their sadness, pain, or victimness by unconsciously setting ourselves up for an upclose and personal situation to plunge right in and experience it first hand.

However, I must remember I am not responsible for their state.  I must not choose to see people as victims of who I was at that time,or who I am now. If I do, I will be in “Wounded Healer” mode.  I will not be able to be in the state of  “Now” because I am too busy replaying the past drama.  I am bringing myself down.  I am dragging the old used up blankie of the past around with me.

Regardless of the impact my actions have “done” to anyone, they are not my victim! For example, let’s  say we are on an elevator. It collects people on the way up. Some leave. We get cramped. Some people widen the area for others. Some don’t.Toes get stepped on. If that happens, wecan choose to simply ask for forgiveness.  As we choose to ask for forgiveness, if the other person has choice too.  Sometimes that person will stand in their belief and says “no! I choose not to forgive you! you hurt me and I will not forget or forgive you.”  What do we do then? Don’t take their choice to heart. Don’t believe that you need to make a wider berth for them to move through.  Let go and get out of the elevator.  If necessary, change to another. Go up the stairs. We did our part, we chose to let go of the past. Be aware that  sometimes the past doesn’t want to let go of us.

We are not indebted to others “stories”. When we have experiences that seem unkind, it’s an opportunity to just notice, not judge.  So forgive, forget, move on up!

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